09.03.2011 08:49 - Carnival!
Carnival is over for another year, and so Cologne gradually returns to normal. The Carnival season traditionally starts on the 11th of November, and is signalled by the great German traditions of vomiting into wastebins and urinating in public places. The traditional figurehead of the Cologne carnival is a clown with sick down his front. This year's carnival motto is "Kölle het zich Übergeben" (Cologne has vomited). Cologne's famous product, 4711 perfume, was actually invented to cover the stench of vomit and pee from the traditional fest. Every year a parade is held on "Rose Monday", where every Kölner is supposed to drink themselves silly, attempt to fornicate randomly, gorge themselves on "Karmille" (chocolate and sweets thrown from the parade floats) and then to throw up and lose consciousness in the puddle.
German men come from miles around to experience the unique beauty of the "Kölsche Mädels" and to try and drunkenly shag them. For this reason, during "Weiberfaßstnacht" the town is overrun by ugly German women searching for drunken German men. Hence the traditional cry of "Alaaf!", which, roughly translated means "Shit! Wrong Wallpaper!"